mental health poster

[Core tip] Daily mental health maintenance does not need to wait for emotional breakdown before starting. Ordinary people can avoid 80% of meaningless internal friction as long as they do three things - allow emotions to flow naturally, actively establish comfort boundaries, and reject "mental health perfectionism." There is no need to pursue absolute "emotional stability" or to follow a "cheerful and optimistic" template. The state that suits you is the best.

When I was doing psychological duty at school last week, I met a little girl who was a sophomore in high school and came to see me. She had just passed the tenth grade exam. She burst into tears as soon as she entered the door and said, "I actually got a multiple-choice chemistry question wrong this time. Do I have a mental problem recently?" Will it fall to the dozens next time? ”

To be honest, this is not an exception. I have met many people in the past six months who regard "mental health" as a subject that requires full marks. They panic when they have a slight mood swing, for fear that they are "mentally unhealthy." Practitioners of psychology from different schools have different opinions on this point: The psychoanalytic school will think that this is because the superego is too strict and always holds the highest standards to itself. ； The cognitive-behavioral school would say that this makes the standard of “mental health” absolute and is an irrational belief. ； Most humanistic counselors are gentler and believe that as long as you can accept your own state, even if you are occasionally anxious or emotive, it is completely healthy. No one statement is the only standard answer. Use whichever one feels comfortable to you.

The eldest sister I met at a community free clinic last month was more typical. She said she had suffered from headaches for more than half a year. She went to three hospitals for examinations and all were normal. After chatting for a long time, she finally figured out that her sister-in-law and her family came to eat every day. In the past, emotional management always said that "learn to restrain and maintain emotional stability", but now more and more clinical cases prove that suppressed emotions will not disappear out of thin air, but will only turn into physical reactions such as migraines, bloating, and insomnia. Of course, some people think that "losing your temper will hurt the people around you." This is true. What we are talking about is allowing emotions to flow. It does not mean that you can vent your anger on others casually, but that you don't have to force yourself to "swallow all emotions." When you are unhappy, you can complain to your friends for half an hour, go to the playground for two laps to sweat, even if you hide in the toilet and listen to three fast songs with headphones and cry for three minutes, it is better than carrying it.

There are also many people who are internally consumed and will not refuse to save up. Colleagues always push their work to you, and you are afraid of being hurt or angry. Then you turn around and work overtime until midnight, scolding yourself for being useless. ； Relatives chase you and ask you how much your salary is and whether you have found a partner. You don't want to answer and you are afraid of being called "ignorant", so you make up lies and go home feeling uncomfortable for a long time. I have seen too many people regard "borderline" as "indifference" and think that being too clear will hurt feelings. But in fact, you will know if you try it. Start by rejecting the smallest request. If you don't want to drink wine, say "I am taking medicine and can't drink it." Of course, there are also studies that say that too clear boundaries will reduce the sense of social closeness. It depends on your choice. Is it more important to be comfortable yourself or to maintain all social relationships? Whichever you choose is right.

One last word of caution: If you can’t get motivated for more than two weeks in a row, can’t sleep well or eat well, and are no longer interested in watching dramas or eating your favorite foods before, don’t force yourself to do it. Go to a professional for help - a psychology teacher in school, a psychological consultation room in the community, or a psychology department in a regular hospital. This is the same as going to the doctor when you have a cold. There is no shame at all.