mental health hotline

It cannot erase all the bad things you are encountering at the moment, nor can it replace formal psychotherapy or long-term consultation, but it is the lowest-cost and easiest-to-get "emotional first aid kit" when your mood breaks down. As long as you dial that number, someone will pick up all the emotions you don't want to tell the people around you. You don't have to pretend to be strong, and you don't have to be afraid of being judged.

I worked as an operator at a provincial public welfare psychological hotline for two years. What impressed me the most was a girl who called in at two in the morning. The answer was followed by more than 20 minutes of silence, with only suppressed cries. I cried until I had trouble breathing before I could explain clearly intermittently: The project I had been saving for three months was suddenly canceled the day before yesterday. When I got home from get off work, I had a quarrel with my parents and slammed the door when I came out, only to find that the rented house was leaking and damaged the laptop I just bought. I sat in the corridor and did not even dare to cry, for fear of neighbors complaining.

Many people's misunderstanding about the hotline is that when calling, you have to ask a question like 1, 2 or 3 and wait for the operator to give you a solution. However, in fact, the handling methods of operators with different training backgrounds are quite different. If the operator who picks her up is a psychodynamic operator, she will feel that the twenty minutes of crying itself is healing - you finally have a place where you don't have to pretend "I'm fine", and don't have to worry about pouring negative emotions on your friends and causing trouble. After crying enough, you will be mostly relieved. ； If she is from the cognitive behavioral school, when she calms down, she will help her figure out the most urgent thing at the moment: find a hotel to stay for one night, contact the property management company to repair the house the next day, and prioritize the remaining things one by one, so that she will not be trapped in the powerless feeling of "everything is terrible" ； If the humanistic operator might not give any advice throughout the whole process, just stay with her and tell her, "Anyone else would have collapsed after encountering this series of things. You have managed to hold on so well until now." There is no absolute right way, as long as you feel comfortable at the moment, it is useful.

You really don’t need to worry about whether your problem is “serious” enough. In our connection records last year, more than 60% of the calls were not about big things that the sky is falling from. Maybe they were shaking because they had just had an argument with their partner. Maybe they were reading a book until they cried the day before the postgraduate entrance examination and felt that they would definitely not pass the exam. Some people even called just because the stall owner overcharged them three yuan for buying fruit in the afternoon. The more they thought about it, the more they felt aggrieved. Even telling their friends, they were worried that they would be made to make a fuss out of a molehill. For us, emotions are never high or low. If you feel uncomfortable, it deserves to be seen.

But I have to tell you the truth, the hotline is not a panacea. Most public welfare hotlines provide one-time services. The operator does not have your past consultation records, and cannot provide you with long-term trauma sorting or behavioral modification. If you have been unable to sleep or eat for half a month, are not interested in anything, or even have thoughts of self-harm, calling the hotline can only help you stabilize your current state. You must then go to the psychiatry department of a regular hospital or find a reliable psychological counselor to follow up. Don't force yourself to do it.

What impressed me most was a phone call I received in the late autumn of last year. It was a boy who was a sophomore in high school. His voice was shaking when he first picked up the phone. He said that he was standing on the rooftop of the teaching building, and the whole class was studying in the evening, and no one noticed his absence. I didn't say anything like "think about your parents" to him. I just heard him say intermittently that he was last three times in the exam. The class teacher talked to him and said that he was dragging down the whole class. His parents got divorced last week and no one cared about him. After chatting for more than forty minutes, he suddenly said, "Sister, I suddenly remembered the roasted sweet potatoes sold in front of the school. The stall should not be open yet. I want to go down and buy one." When he hung up the phone, he had already reached the stairs. I still remember his last words, "Thank you, I haven't said so much to anyone in a long time." You see, what the hotline can do is actually never "rescue". It is to pull you up when your step is empty, so that you can slow down and continue walking.

By the way, there is another thing that few people say. The level of mental health hotlines on the market is indeed uneven. Some operators may not be trained enough, and what they say will actually hurt you, such as asking you, "Why don't you look for the reasons from yourself?"

In fact, during the two years I worked as an operator, I often thought, what is the purpose of this telephone line? Later, I gradually understood that it is like a street lamp you encounter while walking on the road late at night. It will not accompany you throughout the journey, nor will it help you fill in all the potholes on the road. But at least for the few minutes you stand under it, you don’t have to walk in the dark or hold on. You can rest for a while, calm down, and then continue walking.

If you just can't hold it in anymore, don't hold it on, make a phone call and try, it's better than holding it in alone.